Friday, January 9, 2009

Our Girls and our Infertility

God doesn't do things normally with us... so He choose not to give us kids the "normal" way.  
After years (1986-2005) of trying to get pregnant and going to dr's to figure out what the problem was.  In 2006 after years of significant pain I had a hysterectomy( 4 fibroid tumors in and out of the uterus) and prolific endometriosis which I had, had surgery for in 1997.  
Starting in 1999 God started sending us girls that needed to know God's love.  Needed love from a safe place regardless of their choices.  Need cheering on as they step thru life ~Ric is a great cheerleader... me I am mostly step up you are selling yourself short.  It took about 5 girls before we realized that this was God's plan... we certainly didn't see this as a direction for God to work in.  We almost lost one but she is tenacious and kept up with us.  I am glad she has such FAITH in us, giving us time to figure it out.  Our 7 girls so far have given us 8 grands who call us Nana and PawPaw.  
Walking the life of infertility has been very difficult, even now it can make me cry given the "right circumstances" .  I have frequently in the years wondered why God had this path for us.  It has been some of the most painful times in my life.  And it certainly makes me wonder why God chooses to give "stupid" people children to hurt.  Children are such beautiful gifts and to intentionally hurt them or not stand in the way of harm makes me crazy.  I am so thankful when I see parents who love their children.  
This week my heart has been especially pained at missing getting to raise our children... and yet if I weren't in this position would I have been open to love the beautiful girls that God has given us?  Probably not... 

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